Had Sex 2 Weeks After Having a Baby

Anybody remembers their first time.

The anticipation, the awkwardness, the promise to accept it slow, the frantic removal of vesture, the copious amounts of lube, the pain, the stopping, more lube, more than lube, more lube, the embracing each other afterward by the soft glow of the baby monitor ...

Yeah, the first time attempting sex subsequently having a infant is truly memorable. But it'south also different for everyone (although lubricant really does appear to be a common theme), and that's why we asked our audience to tell us well-nigh their experiences in their ain words.

The responses we received are honest, brave, empowering, terrifying (try non to cringe when you read the quote, "It felt like shaving bract ripping the inside of my vagina") and — most importantly — normalizing.

WATCH: Natalie relives her postpartum sex experience in the newest episode of "Life After Birth." Story continues below.

One of the goals of our new parenting series, "Life After Birth," is to bring conversations about the harder parts of motherhood out into the open up. And postpartum sex is a difficult and awkward topic, as we discuss in our newest episode.

Many moms are given the green calorie-free to resume sex at their half dozen-week postpartum checkup. For some women, having sex six weeks after giving birth might seem LOL impossible. And that's normal. Others might experience ready to do it sooner than six weeks postpartum. That'south also normal (although please check with your physician or midwife before you rip off that bandaid, as having sex besides soon can put yous at take chances for infection and other health issues).

The vii new moms nosotros spoke with run the full range, from waiting just 2 weeks to waiting 2 full years. We promise their interviews will prepare you for your own feel, give you hope that it will get amend, and make you lot experience less lonely if You. Just. Cannot.

Because of the very personal nature of the interviews, some of the women requested that only their first names be used, or to remain anonymous.

HuffPost Canada

How did this mom have sex just two weeks subsequently giving birth? Olive oil.

Proper noun: Myriam

Lives in: Moncton, N.B.

She waited: Two weeks.

The sex was: "Weird. Painful. Fun."

In her ain words: "Information technology really did felt like the offset time you 'do it' and suspension your virginity. You will rediscover yourself, in the bad ways and good ways.

I didn't rip or receive sutures, so my doc told me anytime I felt like having sexual practice over again, I was more than than good to go. So two weeks later, sleep deprived, breast full of milk, smelling like I oasis't showered for ii to three days, I decided it was fourth dimension to become things going.

Michelle Arnold / EyeEm via Getty Images

Olive oil as a lubricant? This mom swears by it.

LOTS of (foreplay) to be very certain information technology's time to put 'the thing' inside. And so the feeling, I will ever remember. It felt like shaving bract ripping the inside of my vagina. We did stop at that moment. And then I remembered what prenatal care class taught us about olive oil. Did you know olive oil is a bang-up natural lubricant? Well, I didn't until and then, but I can guarantee it works wonders.

Then for the next few months, an olive oil bottle was chilling on our bedside table. Nosotros did restart our dear making that beginning night again. Simply this time, we were prepared with olive oil and a position where he was in control to go SUPER boring and putting in just the tip (a.k.a. wearisome missionary)."

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Lube is your friend, says a mom who had sex iii weeks after giving birth.

Name: Te-Anna Paradis

Lives in: Goderich, Ont.

She waited: Three weeks with her first baby, five weeks with her second.

The sex was: "Perfectly fine."

In her own words: "So many people have atrocious stories or are really afraid to get back at it. Both of my births were vaginal, no meds. The get-go one I only had a very modest tear. My hormones were raging postpartum and at effectually three weeks I surprised my husband by initiating sex. That first time was perfectly fine, he was cautious and conscientious. Nosotros didn't do information technology again for a few weeks later on that but however no issues!

Infant #two was born this past October. No tearing at all and I actually felt better the twenty-four hour period I gave birth than I had while meaning. We waited until 5 weeks mostly because life is crazy with a toddler and a newborn. Again, no bug or pain.

My all-time advice is to take it slow, and remember that lube is your all-time friend later having kids! Hormone fluctuations and exhaustion really changes things upwardly, and then information technology'south really just easier to give your body that extra help."

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'Don't tell my doctor,' says a mom who had sexual activity five weeks later giving birth.

Name: Alannah

Lives in: Victoria

She waited: Five weeks

The sexual activity was: "Alright."

In her own words: "I will start by saying that my little guy was born three days before his due date. I had him completely natural, and tore a bit where I had previously with my daughter during her delivery. It wasn't a bad tear, merely information technology needed stitches. We were told to wait six weeks postpartum. We did the act at five weeks (shhhh don't tell my physician, haha).

Paulus Rusyanto / EyeEm via Getty Images

Missionary position can help control how deep your partner goes.

I felt upwardly to it and missed the intimacy. Nosotros took it VERY boring. We stayed in missionary position. My partner is pretty well endowed, so missionary made certain that we didn't penetrate as well deep. It felt all right. It didn't hurt me, only I wouldn't say information technology was overly pleasurable. My partner was pleasantly surprised nigh how normal everything felt down in that location, just similar everything did before baby.

I don't regret it one bit, I am actually glad we did information technology in the early weeks every bit now my little guy is so busy, we hardly have time to get decorated."

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Having an understanding partner helps, says a mom who had sex activity vi months later giving nascency.

Name: France

Lives in: Ottawa

She waited: Six months

The sex activity was: "Slow, gentle and I set up the footstep."

In her own words: "I take had six babies and I am pregnant with number vii. I have waited almost 6 months for all of them for different reasons.

The first fourth dimension, we waited because I tore internally very badly and was losing stitches for months, and then I was afraid. But, we as well waited considering being a new mom and constantly having a babe nursing left me uninterested. Which is too why nosotros waited after other babies besides. Role of being touched out, tired and merely not interested. My hubby has always been respectful and never initiated. He saw what I went through and how traumatic it can be.

Becoming intimate after a new baby didn't outset with intercourse. It really started with romantic make-out sessions. And I think that helped make it better. It was tedious, gentle and I set the pace. Existence intimate after a babe can be painful and for me, not being pressured helped. And our bodies change so much later having a baby. Our bodies are softer, things we used to like might non experience skilful anymore. So taking the time to figure information technology all out and being comfortable with your new body can take some fourth dimension.

At that place'due south too the fact that when nursing, there is a "not higher up the waist" rule. All part of rediscovering each other. The relationship changes and so does the the concrete relationship. Well, it did for us anyways. It doesn't take to be negative, it can be fun! And having a very agreement and loving partner helps."

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Nerve damage caused this mom to scream and weep the commencement time she attempted postpartum sex activity.

Name: Anonymous

Lives in: Ottawa

She waited: Nine months with her first baby, two weeks with her 2nd

The sex was: "It's non hurting-costless."

In her own words: "We waited nine months. I was in agony for the first viii months and it injure to walk, bulldoze, and sit for long periods.

I had delivered naturally, and but sustained second-degree tears and I was given the all-clear at half dozen weeks, because I had visibly healed. However, I had nervus damage that no ane could diagnose and we didn't figure it out for a very long fourth dimension. I was told repeatedly by several doctors that I was "fine," despite the fact that I would weep if I tried to push a stroller to the park. I didn't exit the house much.

Fernando Trabanco Fotografía/Getty Images

Postpartum sex tin be extremely painful for some women.

At viii months, the numb/stinging sensation changed, and I went to a pelvic floor physiotherapist who suggested that the fretfulness must have regrown by at present (who knew fretfulness took and then long to heal?). She prescribed a vibrator with varying sized "heads" and we had to "desensitize" me before even attempting foreplay. Talk about mood killer.

It was comically clinical, and if I hadn't already had my hoo-ha on full display during childbirth, I'grand sure I would have been too self-conscious to let my husband do that to me. But if he was the reason it was destroyed, I figured he should be function of the healing procedure. On a side note, have you heard that watching your wife requite nascence is like watching your favourite pub fire down?

In all seriousness though, we offset attempted sex at six months postpartum. It injure like hell, he hardly got in, I screamed/cried, and spent the side by side ii weeks trying to convince him to leave me for someone who could perform "wifely duties." Information technology'south funny in hindsight, however I was and so hormonal, it was a horrible time. Only once we fixed the plumbing, everything was adept to get again at the nine-month marking.

We were in the process of deciding (arguing) virtually whether we should have more kids (me: no, him: aye), when I accidentally got knocked upward ... Nosotros went the natural fashion over again, fifty-fifty though my OB-GYN offered me a C-section based on all my previous complications. It was a huge take chances, yet for some miraculous reason, I didn't take the aforementioned nerve harm.

I am at present eight weeks postpartum with my son and I am WAAAAYYY better. As in, we already attempted sex over again, and it's not pain-free, but I can encounter me getting dorsum to normal in a few weeks. I don't know what was unlike this time. Heck, he was nine pounds three ounces which was two pounds heavier than my daughter! And so if y'all are super fearful of baby number 2, based on what baby number 1 did to you, mine is a success story that should inspire you."

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This mom who waited 11 months was glad she didn't have the pressure level of a partner.

Name: Anonymous

Lives in: Ottawa

She waited: xi months

The sex was: "Better than I expected."

In her ain words: "I can tell y'all that, after a vaginal nascency and tearing, the thought of sexual activity was terrifying for at least 10 months postpartum. I was single since pregnancy and then I was happy I didn't accept the pressure to please a partner or maintain a relationship.

Ane nighttime, 11 months postpartum, I merely suddenly felt like, yep, I'm ready! I chosen up an ex-boyfriend whom I've e'er felt really comfortable with sexually and he was happy to oblige. I was a little nervous at offset, but it was better than I expected! Though boobs were definitely nevertheless off-limits.

The more nosotros practiced, the better it got, but at this point I was still too wearied to put any effort into being sexy. My body really wasn't truly healed for two years postpartum and I'm glad I was able to give myself that infinite to heal, with no pressure level."

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Non feeling connected to her partner was a big reason this mom waited two years to have sex.

Proper noun: Anonymous

Lives in: Victoria

She waited: 2 years

The sex was: "Better than I expected, but not awesome."

In her own words: "Baby's second birthday. The timing was a coincidence — it was a Saturday night and my only weekend off in a while. Why it took so long: vulvodynia (chronic pain in the vulva) that got worse after pregnancy, needed to expect for my breasts to heal after breastfeeding (though I stopped that business a year before), the challenge of finding the time with a toddler and my weird work schedule, and lack of libido.

But honestly, the biggest office was not wanting to have sex with someone when we're annoyed with each other 90 per cent of the time. And we have very different "honey languages" — his way of expressing interest wasn't working for me. How it was: better than I expected only not awesome. It got better the one fourth dimension since. What helped: counselling, lots of non-penetrative sex activity, and and then much lube."

Also on HuffPost:

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Source: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2019/02/11/sex-after-giving-birth-how-long_a_23661311/

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